Spirituality and Trust

In life, we trust. A lot. Take keyless cars. We trust that when we push the button the engine will start. Look at ATM’s. We trust if we punch in our code, the machine will spit out money in the denominations we requested. And, finally, if we give someone our time, we trust that person won’t waste it.

Today, I’m that person asking for your time. I’m also trusting that you’ll give this post a chance. Why? Because I’m about to “out” myself by admitting to the “C” word. That’s right, irreverent secular me, has become an official Christian. I know, the idea of Christians and Christianity can hold negative connotations for some people in light of … well … history and all the crazy crap people have gotten into in the name of Jesus (which, by the way, I believe He would unequivocally disapprove of). So I ask that you trust that the start-up church I’m a part of, Project 938 isn’t crazy like that.

Now, with all my throat clearing out of the way; using audio clips and text, I’d like to share the story I told in church about my spiritual journey. Beginning with Pastor Marc’s intro:

I don’t know if he knew it at the time, but he was trusting that when I took the stage, I was going to be coherent. Sure, he saw ahead of time what I planned to say and I’d printed out my own copy (laminated no less), to read. But …

I didn’t want to read it, I wanted to say it from memory. Practice wasn’t the problem. The problem was I cried when I spoke my words.

Ten minutes before the first service (that’s right; we have two services which meant I’d have to tell my story twice), I went to Pastor Marc and confessed I couldn’t say what I wanted to say without melting into a blubbering mess of tears. He kindly told me that was okay. “Just pause,” he said. “Take a few breaths to collect yourself and continue.”

Yup, yup. Okay, okay. Excellent advice. Just one more thing: the day before, while jogging and thinking about my testimony it hit me: Testimony. I was giving a testimony IN CHURCH. That meant … um … God would be listening. The day before I spoke I changed my opening words. Instead of just saying my name, I said this:

I moved on to my original intro:

The reason for multiple short clips was I didn’t think the whole thing would fit as a single clip. Continuing on:

I didn’t use my notes during my testimony which is how I flubbed by saying “my parents” took me to church when I meant to say “my family” which consisted of my mother, grandmother and sister. 🙂

In the previous clip I mentioned Rachel and Kevin. Rachel is the director of discipleship. Kevin is our former worship leader who led the band. I ended this clip with my question, “Why?” In answer, I referenced a song by reciting lyrics to “This is Amazing Grace” by Phil Wickham. The clip below is a part of that song.

Above, I mentioned Jesus leaving the 99 to find me. That referred to lyrics to, “Reckless Love,” by Cory Asbury. Here’s a quick sample:

More on my love of the music.

The next clip was cobbled so the lyrics fit my testimony not how they were sung in the song.

If I had referred to my paper I wouldn’t have botched the final lyrics by saying, “power and glory” instead of “honor and glory.” Apologies to Chris Tomlin.

Even though we have two services, only one goes up on the Project938 website. The above clips were from the second service when I was a little more relaxed. I never blubbered and I was thankful for that. Now, thank you for letting me share. 🙂